I want the time before. I want lips, saying nothing and then everything as they cover my body with droplets and light every inch of my skin on fire. Before they said I can’t and I won’t and let’s stay feet and miles and months apart. I want four eyes holding an infinite gaze into […]


Lace up. Step out. Run. Into the night and the pouring rain that wash over you like a tidal wave of painkillers for the hurt stories in your head. Broken too much not enough it’s over you lose. Breathe. Step. Breathe. Step. Breathe. Step. Run. Away from the running away that led you here, the […]


  I’m 18 and sitting on the floor of what I like to call the “loneliest aisle” in the women’s shoe department, the section reserved for women like me with size 11 and above “boats” attached to their ankles, masquerading as feet. At least that was what an ex used to playfully call mine, which […]


I cried during yoga today. I know this is a thing that happens, I hear people share about it all the time. But I’m not one of “those” people. I go to yoga twice a week. I’m not good at the practice, I never have been. I’m 6 feet tall with size 11 feet. Bending […]


LETTER TO MY 11-YEARS-AGO-SELF Jackie, I know you are scared and unsure and kind of hung-over from last night. I know you want to turn around and run back home to the elusive security you search for at the bottom of every bottle. I know your fears are so many they could fill up the […]


There once was a little girl who lived in a forest with great word spinning giants. In case you didn’t know, there are many different species of fairy tale giants, and word spinning ones happen to be the rarest and most talented of the bunch. Instead of spending their days smelling the blood of englishmuns […]

Sick In The City

When I first moved to New York City from Southern California, months went by before it occurred to me that I hadn’t even hugged another human in days…63 to be exact. No matter, I thought as I turned up Jay-Z’s “Empire State Of Mind” a little louder in my headphones and walked a little faster […]


Standing next to me in the courtroom, my rapist didn’t look like a rapist at all. It wasn’t just his black dress shirt and tie, or his perfectly creased pants and shiny shoes. It was the warm smile he wore when he walked in and cheerfully greeted everyone in the room that almost completely camouflaged […]


I remember my body as it was then, warm and soft and long with a too-round middle that I’m always staring at in the mirror with a critical eye. I feel my body tense sharply at the sound of a man’s voice telling me in the darkness of his bedroom and in the tangle of […]


I was in the hands of a man recently. It started out as my hand in his, a firm handshake as he thanked me for being the main speaker at an AA meeting while looking me in the eye with his kind and gentle gaze. “We should be friends,” he boldly stated. As our hands […]